A picture of my Traveling Woman Shawl made of Fiesta Boomerang. btw I fixed the curling edges.
A fuzzy baby hat made of Erdal Eyelash and a darling but sleepy baby.
Monday, December 14, 2009
All better!! Thanks for listening!
It's safe to read again. I feel much better today. I just can't get used to being a prisoner and being scared I'm going to die from all this stress. Life is very difficult and some days are harder than others. Besides which I love this man and it's devastating to watch him be destroyed by this horrible disease.
A fuzzy baby hat made of Erdal Eyelash and a darling but sleepy baby.
A fuzzy baby hat made of Erdal Eyelash and a darling but sleepy baby.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
RANT ALERT
If you are not prepared to read a rant, then stop right now. I'm in tears I have no one to talk to so this is where I'm going.
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I exist and just barely. I have no life. This horrible disease is taking my life as surely as it's taking Richards. We don't have much entertainment anymore. If we go out we're always alone--rarely any invitations from (persons I perceived as) friends. Usually if we are with someone I've instigated it. One of our children is around frequently, one around regularly, and one seldom. Rich is reaching the point where I'm reluctant to leave him home alone so that means I don't get out very often either and not without lots of planning and I'm beginning to think why bother? There are people that will (sometimes) help if I ask but I get so tired of asking especially when they say no-- 2 or 3 no's and I get the picture. No one ever calls and offers (except for Rebecca who tries to take him 2 or 3 times a month for an evening so I can relax a little) There are places I can get help but it's an application process and I'm just so tired all the time. And then if it doesn't work out I'm so disappointed.
There were three party invitations today, one just for me and two for both of us. Knowing he couldn't handle two parties, especially after a busy morning with the church cantata I chose the one I knew he would enjoy the most--the one just for me was a given no, can't leave him alone. So what happens? He disappears about 3:00 and I hope he's just gone for a walk. He returns in about an hour and a half and he's doubled over in pain and goes straight to bed and practically passes out. I let him sleep for an hour, wake him and remind him of the party but his head hurts. I give him some Tylenol and he sleeps more. Finally I wake him again and he's still too sick to go...so here we are. He's in bed and once again I'm alone again--well always is what it feels like. There were two knitting events yesterday and I did leave him home and go to one for about 2 hours but I just didn't have the energy to arrange Richard-sitting for the evening event.
We've belonged to our church for over 30 years and we've been an active participating couple. We've given our time, talent, presence, money--that's what the Methodist Church asks of its members. I've tried to be of assistance where and when I was needed. But our minister never calls to see how we're doing or even asks when we're at church. The previous minister didn't either. I recall calling him when we first got the diagnosis and he suggested I call my mother and that was the last I heard from him. My best friend told me it was wrong to "expect" help from the church. This disease is destroying my faith. People say they pray for us all the time but I can't feel any positive effect. I really want to believe that God loves us but it feels more like He doesn't know we exist. Oh yeah and there's the one member who told me "no more playdates" after spending an afternoon with us. I can barely be civil to that man.
And no it's not time to put him in a nursing home. He still knows all of us and he'd die if I put him there. It's hard enough getting him to the adult daycare. He pretty much can't do anything for himself anymore, dressing, bathing, he can feed himself but can't fill a plate. He doesn't seem to know what anything is. It's hard to describe. I seem to be running out of steam finally.
Please don't leave any sympathy comments. I'm not asking for pity, I just need to tell someone.... And if you have a friend who needs help then don't wait for that person to call you--you call them and say I'm coming over. Believe me, they are dying on the inside and it's just a matter of time before they're gone completely.
**************************************************************************************
I exist and just barely. I have no life. This horrible disease is taking my life as surely as it's taking Richards. We don't have much entertainment anymore. If we go out we're always alone--rarely any invitations from (persons I perceived as) friends. Usually if we are with someone I've instigated it. One of our children is around frequently, one around regularly, and one seldom. Rich is reaching the point where I'm reluctant to leave him home alone so that means I don't get out very often either and not without lots of planning and I'm beginning to think why bother? There are people that will (sometimes) help if I ask but I get so tired of asking especially when they say no-- 2 or 3 no's and I get the picture. No one ever calls and offers (except for Rebecca who tries to take him 2 or 3 times a month for an evening so I can relax a little) There are places I can get help but it's an application process and I'm just so tired all the time. And then if it doesn't work out I'm so disappointed.
There were three party invitations today, one just for me and two for both of us. Knowing he couldn't handle two parties, especially after a busy morning with the church cantata I chose the one I knew he would enjoy the most--the one just for me was a given no, can't leave him alone. So what happens? He disappears about 3:00 and I hope he's just gone for a walk. He returns in about an hour and a half and he's doubled over in pain and goes straight to bed and practically passes out. I let him sleep for an hour, wake him and remind him of the party but his head hurts. I give him some Tylenol and he sleeps more. Finally I wake him again and he's still too sick to go...so here we are. He's in bed and once again I'm alone again--well always is what it feels like. There were two knitting events yesterday and I did leave him home and go to one for about 2 hours but I just didn't have the energy to arrange Richard-sitting for the evening event.
We've belonged to our church for over 30 years and we've been an active participating couple. We've given our time, talent, presence, money--that's what the Methodist Church asks of its members. I've tried to be of assistance where and when I was needed. But our minister never calls to see how we're doing or even asks when we're at church. The previous minister didn't either. I recall calling him when we first got the diagnosis and he suggested I call my mother and that was the last I heard from him. My best friend told me it was wrong to "expect" help from the church. This disease is destroying my faith. People say they pray for us all the time but I can't feel any positive effect. I really want to believe that God loves us but it feels more like He doesn't know we exist. Oh yeah and there's the one member who told me "no more playdates" after spending an afternoon with us. I can barely be civil to that man.
And no it's not time to put him in a nursing home. He still knows all of us and he'd die if I put him there. It's hard enough getting him to the adult daycare. He pretty much can't do anything for himself anymore, dressing, bathing, he can feed himself but can't fill a plate. He doesn't seem to know what anything is. It's hard to describe. I seem to be running out of steam finally.
Please don't leave any sympathy comments. I'm not asking for pity, I just need to tell someone.... And if you have a friend who needs help then don't wait for that person to call you--you call them and say I'm coming over. Believe me, they are dying on the inside and it's just a matter of time before they're gone completely.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Found more pictures
from the top: an airplane turned into a restaurant, th chapel that is 4 chapels at the Air Force Academy, from the top of Pike's Peak you can see four (maybe 5) states--plus you can get a little sick from being so high up in the air, something very funny??, the Arkansas River at the bottom of the Royal Gorge, a cabin from the gold-mining days--obviously very old, just trying to catch up. 3 posts in 2 days is a lot for me!
A few pictures
Carter's first horsebacki ride Bryan (son) Rich and Teresa (favorite daughter-in-law)
Advent calendar scarf. Same scarf in all 3 pictures in spite of how the color looks.
Advent calendar scarf. Same scarf in all 3 pictures in spite of how the color looks.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
My TV interview that you might have seen
Okay so here's the scoop.
I've been quite annoyed since OKC sold my parking garage to Devon. They're going to use it for their employees only! la-di-da. It was a City owned garage, my taxes paid to build it (I wasn't the only one--other taxes were used too;) --and then they sold it and didn't even ask me if it was okay. Now this may sound silly but, about 700 people who work or live downtown (not counting the homeless) don't have anywhere to park now and it's making me really cross. The mayor talks all the time about how they're trying to make OKC Downtown a happening place.....but don't we need adequate parking for that to happen? People who were going to the County Courthouse for various reasons, people going to the library, or even people going to the Thunder Store,not to mention all the lawyers offices down there have to share about 15 meters and lord help you if your meter runs out cause the meter-persons love to write tickets. I had worn my Lady Eleanor to work that day and it was the only warmth I had so I wore it at the interview which was outside. My daughter-in-law said my questions were good but my shawl was great! And I feel better now that someone actually listened to what I was thinking. Do you s'pose I'll be discovered now and become a big tv commentator?? toodles Anita
I've been quite annoyed since OKC sold my parking garage to Devon. They're going to use it for their employees only! la-di-da. It was a City owned garage, my taxes paid to build it (I wasn't the only one--other taxes were used too;) --and then they sold it and didn't even ask me if it was okay. Now this may sound silly but, about 700 people who work or live downtown (not counting the homeless) don't have anywhere to park now and it's making me really cross. The mayor talks all the time about how they're trying to make OKC Downtown a happening place.....but don't we need adequate parking for that to happen? People who were going to the County Courthouse for various reasons, people going to the library, or even people going to the Thunder Store,not to mention all the lawyers offices down there have to share about 15 meters and lord help you if your meter runs out cause the meter-persons love to write tickets. I had worn my Lady Eleanor to work that day and it was the only warmth I had so I wore it at the interview which was outside. My daughter-in-law said my questions were good but my shawl was great! And I feel better now that someone actually listened to what I was thinking. Do you s'pose I'll be discovered now and become a big tv commentator?? toodles Anita
Monday, August 3, 2009
Rules of the Universe-the Sequel
1. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
2. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
3. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
4. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
5. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed.
6. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
7. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness' (except for knitters-I added this part)
8. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
9. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
10. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
I tried to download/upload-whatever it is we do to them-some recent photos and they wouldn't co-operate. It's a mystery to me--I'll try again later.
10 days from today I will celebrate--celebrate might be too strong of a word--let's say I'll observe my 60th. birthday. I really can't figure out how I got this old. I'm only in my mid-thrities at least until I look in the mirror and then I see my mother which isn't a bad thing but it is rather startling. I gotta wonder what the future holds and if I'll outlive the "disease". I've always believed in karma and I tell you sometimes I wonder what I was like in previous lives.
I will finish the Advent Scarf hopefully tomorrow. I'm really tired of this project. Maybe I can get some photos and get them loaded to show you. I've always closely identified with Oscar the Grouch and some days I just want to throw up my hands and say wtf.
and on that cheerful note I'll close.......toodles Anita
2. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
3. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
4. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
5. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed.
6. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
7. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness' (except for knitters-I added this part)
8. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
9. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
10. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
I tried to download/upload-whatever it is we do to them-some recent photos and they wouldn't co-operate. It's a mystery to me--I'll try again later.
10 days from today I will celebrate--celebrate might be too strong of a word--let's say I'll observe my 60th. birthday. I really can't figure out how I got this old. I'm only in my mid-thrities at least until I look in the mirror and then I see my mother which isn't a bad thing but it is rather startling. I gotta wonder what the future holds and if I'll outlive the "disease". I've always believed in karma and I tell you sometimes I wonder what I was like in previous lives.
I will finish the Advent Scarf hopefully tomorrow. I'm really tired of this project. Maybe I can get some photos and get them loaded to show you. I've always closely identified with Oscar the Grouch and some days I just want to throw up my hands and say wtf.
and on that cheerful note I'll close.......toodles Anita
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Rules of the Universe Part 1
My dear friend Joni (also my personal shopper but that's a different story) sent these to me and I'm going to share them with you in a series because they are funny, yet true! Here's the first 10.
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
4. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
5. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
6. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
7. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
8. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
9. It ain't the jeans that makes your butt look fat.
10. The decrease in one’s metabolism is in direct proportion to the increase in one’s appetite. (I added this one from experience)
Tuesday my friend Rebecca, who is a wonderful gift in my life, picked Rich up at day care and took him to supper so I could have a relaxing evening knitting with my friends. After I broke my leg Rebecca and Kerri-her daughter-came over and cleaned my house, changed my sheets, did my laundry, and brought meals several times. She drove us around and helped collect wheel chairs and such things and was just so much help. I can never tell her how much I appreciate her.
Have any of you tried the new cupcake bakeries? Oh my gosh, they are so good and expensive but worth it.
OTN I'm about to finish the Advent scarf. I'm really going to try and get some pictures posted this weekend, I'm way behind.
Well that's it for tonight. I finally was drug kicking and screaning to Facebook like I need another computer place to read. Thanks for dropping by....toodles......Anita
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
4. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
5. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
6. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
7. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
8. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
9. It ain't the jeans that makes your butt look fat.
10. The decrease in one’s metabolism is in direct proportion to the increase in one’s appetite. (I added this one from experience)
Tuesday my friend Rebecca, who is a wonderful gift in my life, picked Rich up at day care and took him to supper so I could have a relaxing evening knitting with my friends. After I broke my leg Rebecca and Kerri-her daughter-came over and cleaned my house, changed my sheets, did my laundry, and brought meals several times. She drove us around and helped collect wheel chairs and such things and was just so much help. I can never tell her how much I appreciate her.
Have any of you tried the new cupcake bakeries? Oh my gosh, they are so good and expensive but worth it.
OTN I'm about to finish the Advent scarf. I'm really going to try and get some pictures posted this weekend, I'm way behind.
Well that's it for tonight. I finally was drug kicking and screaning to Facebook like I need another computer place to read. Thanks for dropping by....toodles......Anita
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