Learning.....

I’ve learned:
that I have to enjoy each day for what it gives us.
that sometimes I have to search the day for something happy.
that sometimes I have to sit on the side of the bed and pretend to laugh because I haven’t laughed all day and my body needs laughter (and bodies can’t tell the difference between real and pretend laughter—true!).
I’ve got to listen to some music every day.
that I need some sort of exercise everyday even if it’s only a few minutes.
patience as Richard tries to tell me a story when the words are inside his head but won’t come out of his mouth. (need more work on this one)
that it all comes down to me in the end so I should quit bitching and just get on with whatever has to be done.
that I can ask for help.
that I can get help if I just keep asking.
that some people help even when I resist it. I don’t always know/accept what we need.
that churches may be houses of God but they are filled with people who don’t know what to do or how to help (and seem to resist efforts to get assistance) and that it’s not their fault) (this one is hard).
that even though he now doesn’t know that he doesn’t know and isn’t in so much pain, that I know and am in more pain than before.
that sometimes I feel paralyzed inside but I can keep moving forward even during those times and that feeling will pass.
that I can’t let people/friends (even though they are concerned) drag me down with their sympathy.
to say “we’re doing the best we can” and try to change the subject.
To tell myself it is what it is and go on
That I’m waiting to learn not to be angry and/or resentful which closes me up to everything.
that I’ve still got a lot to learn.
that I still don’t believe God gave this to Richard
that I wish I could quit learning
that I hope each day I am still alive in spirit and body
that I have strength to give to others even when I feel empty.
that I love my husband even more than I knew I did.
That my life isn’t over even though it feels that way
That God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called—I say this many times a day for strength.