I’ve always found comfort in talking to myself….out loud. I always know what I’m talking about and never have to repeat anything…. Once my (then) teen-age daughter ask me who is my “special friend” with whom I’m always speaking. It was kind of empowering when people started walking around with things in their ears and talking to what appeared to be themselves. (Took me a while to figure out they were on the phone) How does this relate to a blog? Every day I say to myself “self, today you will write in your blog, and every day I don’t. It often seems as if I just don’t have anything to say except how challenging it is to deal with Richard, but in the interest of my mental health, maybe that’s what I should write about. (Please no comments about talking to myself out loud vs mental health.)
About a month ago, Richard (who has temporal lobe dementia-similar to Alz) had his driver’s license revoked and he’s very angry and frustrated which I totally understand. (even though I feel relieved) But living with constant anger is exhausting. I did notice that in trying to be more upbeat to him I actually made myself feel better…go figure. However, last week, he ask me what was wrong with him and so I explained his sickness and he was devastated. It seems that he’d “forgotten” that he has it and watching his heart break for the 2nd. time just about did me in. I really hope that we don’t have to go through this situation many more times. Now I’m trying to figure out how to get him lunches while I’m at work and he’s at home and he’s stubborn and doesn’t want any help but no longer can even fix his own sandwich. I arranged with our church to deliver a meal on Mondays but he won’t take it or else he leaves the house about the time they’re supposed to get there. It’s a challenge….but I’ll get it figured out sooner or later.
Knitting: I took a class for the Lady Eleanor entralac stole a couple weeks ago at my favorite LYS (all these acronyms confuse me) and invested the $$’s in Noro Silk Garden Yarn to make it and I LOVE IT. The technique is fun, the yarn –colorway 87—is gorgeous, and I really enjoy working on it. I think it might take me a while to complete but that’s okay. I took a picture for you.
About a month ago, Richard (who has temporal lobe dementia-similar to Alz) had his driver’s license revoked and he’s very angry and frustrated which I totally understand. (even though I feel relieved) But living with constant anger is exhausting. I did notice that in trying to be more upbeat to him I actually made myself feel better…go figure. However, last week, he ask me what was wrong with him and so I explained his sickness and he was devastated. It seems that he’d “forgotten” that he has it and watching his heart break for the 2nd. time just about did me in. I really hope that we don’t have to go through this situation many more times. Now I’m trying to figure out how to get him lunches while I’m at work and he’s at home and he’s stubborn and doesn’t want any help but no longer can even fix his own sandwich. I arranged with our church to deliver a meal on Mondays but he won’t take it or else he leaves the house about the time they’re supposed to get there. It’s a challenge….but I’ll get it figured out sooner or later.
Knitting: I took a class for the Lady Eleanor entralac stole a couple weeks ago at my favorite LYS (all these acronyms confuse me) and invested the $$’s in Noro Silk Garden Yarn to make it and I LOVE IT. The technique is fun, the yarn –colorway 87—is gorgeous, and I really enjoy working on it. I think it might take me a while to complete but that’s okay. I took a picture for you.
I’m still got a couple of other projects, but for now this brings comfort. Speaking of comfort—the comfort shawl I made for my friend who isn’t healthy was delivered. She said she’s always cold and that it would help. After I finished it, I got sick and didn’t want to take germs to her so it took a while to get there. Recently, I spotted a woman in a store who was bald and had a bandana tied around her head and I wished that I had a supply of chemo caps knitted and in my car to give to those who need them. It feels like something I need to be doing and the urge is getting stronger. Similar to the urge to carry around board books and give them to babies! Which I don’t do either. I guess I need to write a grant to someplace to fund all my ideas…..
And speaking of books: Have I mentioned that I read for escape and/or pleasure. Sometimes I’ll read something intellectual—well may not that drastic—but at least something good for me. But usually – give me an intriguing mystery and I’m in another world. I love mysteries. It’s always kind of disappointing if I can figure them out. I also like surprises. I’m about to finish The Blood Ballad by Rett MacPherson. Her character is Tori O’Shea, a genealogist who is always solving a mystery in her small Missouri town. She’s written 10 previous to this one and I’ve loved every one of them. I just finished Plum Lucky by Janet Evanovich—so funny, and am listening, in the car to Oh, My Stars by Lorna Landvick. This is the first of hers I’ve read (not a mystery) and she reminds me a bit of Billie Letts. Good characterization. I have waiting Jan Karon’s newest Father Tim, Home to Holly Springs and The St. Patrick’s Day Murder by Leslie Meier who’s another cozy writer with a recurring character. I’m on the list for the newest Mary Higgins Clark, she’s awesome. I also like Edna Buchanan.
Here’s a couple pictures of Bella. She’s an only cat. I’ve been wanting to get Rich a dog, but Bella is such a pill she’d move out again. Besides she’s his cat anyhow.
And speaking of books: Have I mentioned that I read for escape and/or pleasure. Sometimes I’ll read something intellectual—well may not that drastic—but at least something good for me. But usually – give me an intriguing mystery and I’m in another world. I love mysteries. It’s always kind of disappointing if I can figure them out. I also like surprises. I’m about to finish The Blood Ballad by Rett MacPherson. Her character is Tori O’Shea, a genealogist who is always solving a mystery in her small Missouri town. She’s written 10 previous to this one and I’ve loved every one of them. I just finished Plum Lucky by Janet Evanovich—so funny, and am listening, in the car to Oh, My Stars by Lorna Landvick. This is the first of hers I’ve read (not a mystery) and she reminds me a bit of Billie Letts. Good characterization. I have waiting Jan Karon’s newest Father Tim, Home to Holly Springs and The St. Patrick’s Day Murder by Leslie Meier who’s another cozy writer with a recurring character. I’m on the list for the newest Mary Higgins Clark, she’s awesome. I also like Edna Buchanan.
Here’s a couple pictures of Bella. She’s an only cat. I’ve been wanting to get Rich a dog, but Bella is such a pill she’d move out again. Besides she’s his cat anyhow.
I hope the grammar police (you know who you are!) don’t take after me. I’ve tried to watch all my there, they’re & theirs, all my it’s and its, and all my commas but who knows. Grammar is sometimes a mystery.
toodles....Anita
5 comments:
What a wonderful post, on so many levels.
Thank you for the book suggestions - did I tell you that books-on-CD are part of the travel plan for my upcoming road trip?
Maybe one of your many friends can find you a blinky ear-bug so you can talk aloud to yourself all you want with no one knowing the truth!
-- May blessings be on your head.
Anita - I'm so sorry you're going through all that you are. I don't know what to do for you but all of us are here to listen.
Every time I write a blog I think of my friend Susan (the ultimate grammar police) and some teacher just shaking their head. lol
blinky ear-bug - that's a good one! lol
I don't write about Richard for sympathy, just as kind of a journal, but thank you all for the good thoughts generated.
We've covered what friends are for in private. Remember it though.
I've actually responded to people who were on their bluetooth earbud. They look at you like you're insane. Oh wait... ;-)
I promise I won't ever leave you an anonymous comment about grammar.
Your Lady E looks lovely-- I hope the knitting gives you comfort. I was happy to read the book recommendations. I am always looking for something new to read. Lorna L.'s first book (Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons, I think) was terrific.
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