The End and the Beginning

I feel like I should write something profound for New Year's Eve but I can't think of anything. So I"ll review the year:
January is a hit the deck running month. many events at work and nothing can start until Jan. Ice storm-slip and fall landing on my tailbone. ouch. going on a "yarn crawl" to St. Louis. So much fun! Kaila's birthday. Carter's birthday.
February: Winter ReadFest begins; I take Carolyn Hart on a 4 library tour. Such a nice lady. caregivers are arranged. we leave for yarn heaven. Second day out break my leg. not going to ruin trip. friends valiently lift me in/out/up/down and push wheelchair. I can't do.crutches and end up (once again) face down (with smashed nose) on the ground! have to miss Friends of Lib. booksale. darn.
March: trying to recover. caring for dementia husband while supposed to keep leg elevated! take William Bernhardt on 4 library book tour while in cast and on crutches. me not him. ohboy. Month finally ends. so does ReadFest.
April: fairly uneventful month. leg still in boot. hurts most of the time
May: attend "Lion King" performance. wow! what a show. matinees on Thursday afternoon aren't expensive! make note to self to remember this. teach autoharp et all classes in Tulsa for OU School of Music. fun.
June: busy work month, quiet personal month. challenges with Richard.
July: trip to Colorado with Village Tours. hard work but fun. beautiful country. went to top of Pike's Peak (which Mr. Peak never did) had dinner in a restaurant made from an airplane. cool.
August: went to Branson/Silver Dollar City with Deb, Joe, Mom, Tailor, & Kyoko. rather hectic and close in vehicle but fun. (note: once you've seen the Dixie Stampede show you've seen it. went several years ago and it hasn't changed)
September: not much new. same ole same ole at work. Luke & Co. (me) was entertainment at Aging Consortium Annual meeting. small but appreciative audience. I miss singing. Oklahoma State Literacy Conference happens. oh yes how could I forget? cataract surgery on each eye two weeks apart. was easy went well next to no pain but very expensive and all those eye drops!
October: just frequent challenges with Rich. started having seizures again. escaped from the day care-that was exciting!
November: good grief where has the year gone? cooked thanksgiving for us, Kacie, Jimmy, Carter, & Frankie. good time.
December: missed all the parties cause Rich got sick. started gift shopping about the 23rd. put small artificial tree up. major blizzard Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. couldn't get to shed to get ornaments. poor sad tree only had lights, 1 angel, 1 crocheted snowflake, and 2 red bells (that double as earrings) but it had a certain charm all its own. went to Deb's with Mom and all kids/grandkids. 6 children 3 & under. someone sceaming "mine" non-stop. kind of funny yet very noisy. our kids came on the 27th. and we had a really good time. So now it's New Year's Eve, Rich is in bed and I'm watching re-runs on tv and writing in this. I certainly hope your new year is as pleasant as mine is. Good night all.......and Happy New Year!

It's very white

It's very white outside and very cold and very windy. So much of all these things that basically all Christmas Eve Services in town nhave been cancelled. And that just doesn't happen in the Bible Belt. We personally have been in all day snug as a bug in a (knitted of course) rug. And also of course the tv stations were ecstatic 'cause they got to do "Blizzard 2009" coverage all. day. long. B o r i n g. The malls are going to be screaming cause they all had to shut down early although I heard some newscast person suggesting they stay open and let people who are stranded come in for warmth and sleeping. Not a completely bad idea I guess.

I finally decided to put up a tree and bought a really cute little 4 ft. artificial tree that I think will do me for the rest of our lives with lights already on it. White lights aren't my favorite but I'm planning to replace them with colored bulbs. (bulbettes? they're so tiny) However the Christmas are in storage in the shed out back and I can't get to it cause the snow has drifted up again the door, so...the lights may be the only decorations on it! There is one lone crocheted snowflake on it that I found on the floor and am really not sure where it came from?

I won some more of the lottery. Yesterday while grocery shopping I cashed in the previous winning ticket and bought another one (thereby reducing my previous winnings to $8) and glory be I won another $12. I may just win a whole million $12 at a time!! Stranger things have happened....maybe.

I'm working diligently on Mom's red shawl in hopes of having it finished by Monday to give to her when we go up for my aunt's funeral but I don't know if I will.

Okay think I'll go now. Sweet dreams of reindeers and a fat man in a red suit and world peace and sugarplums. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.....

Winning is Winning!

I won the lottery......well some of it anyway......$12 to be exact. Hey! It's $10 I wouldn't have already had (after deducting the cost of the ticket). winning is winning period. This is the second time I've won--$7 the first time--I must be very lucky.

Two days till Christmas and I still haven't done my shopping. I'm planning to get started this afternoon. I need no derogatory comments, chortles, or scornful/pitying thoughts thank you very much. I've been busy.... ;).

Apparently it's going to snow here for Christmas. Rich and I will be home alone so no traveling is a good thing. Our kids are coming over on the 27th. so that should work out just fine. I've got knitting projects to finish. A red shawl for my mother and some high-top tennys for my new great-nephew. I wonder why grandchildren are called "grand" and children of nieces and nephews are called "great" instead of "grand nephew or grand neice"? Does anybody know? or is it one of those do-do-do-do things?

My Aunt Lavonna passed away yesterday. She was the last of my dad's siblings. Now there's only all of us cousins left. Hopefully we will continue to see each other and not lose touch. I looked more like this aunt than her own children do and more like her than I looked like my dad. Genetics are a funny thing. Very interesting though. you know blue eyes vs brown eyes; red hair vs blonde/dark hair. very curious.

That's her in the middle at the birthday party last year. (Mom on the left and Uncle Darrel on the right) They all turned 80 in Oct. 2008, it was a fun party. We used to have huge family gatherings on that side of the family. Lots of kids to play with and lots of fun and this bunch has terrific funny bones. Lots of laughter. I remember once at a dinner we ran out of room on the table so everyone took turns holding one of the bowls until we all were fed. Perhaps you had to be there but it makes me laugh just to think about it. My Grandma Hern was famous for her chicken and noodles (made from scratch of course) and there was no way you were leaving her house hungry.

Well guess I'd better get busy. If we don't talk again then Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays to everyone. toodles.....Anita

All better!! Thanks for listening!

It's safe to read again. I feel much better today. I just can't get used to being a prisoner and being scared I'm going to die from all this stress. Life is very difficult and some days are harder than others. Besides which I love this man and it's devastating to watch him be destroyed by this horrible disease.

A picture of my Traveling Woman Shawl made of Fiesta Boomerang. btw I fixed the curling edges.

A fuzzy baby hat made of Erdal Eyelash and a darling but sleepy baby.

RANT ALERT

If you are not prepared to read a rant, then stop right now. I'm in tears I have no one to talk to so this is where I'm going.
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I exist and just barely. I have no life. This horrible disease is taking my life as surely as it's taking Richards. We don't have much entertainment anymore. If we go out we're always alone--rarely any invitations from (persons I perceived as) friends. Usually if we are with someone I've instigated it. One of our children is around frequently, one around regularly, and one seldom. Rich is reaching the point where I'm reluctant to leave him home alone so that means I don't get out very often either and not without lots of planning and I'm beginning to think why bother? There are people that will (sometimes) help if I ask but I get so tired of asking especially when they say no-- 2 or 3 no's and I get the picture. No one ever calls and offers (except for Rebecca who tries to take him 2 or 3 times a month for an evening so I can relax a little) There are places I can get help but it's an application process and I'm just so tired all the time. And then if it doesn't work out I'm so disappointed.

There were three party invitations today, one just for me and two for both of us. Knowing he couldn't handle two parties, especially after a busy morning with the church cantata I chose the one I knew he would enjoy the most--the one just for me was a given no, can't leave him alone. So what happens? He disappears about 3:00 and I hope he's just gone for a walk. He returns in about an hour and a half and he's doubled over in pain and goes straight to bed and practically passes out. I let him sleep for an hour, wake him and remind him of the party but his head hurts. I give him some Tylenol and he sleeps more. Finally I wake him again and he's still too sick to go...so here we are. He's in bed and once again I'm alone again--well always is what it feels like. There were two knitting events yesterday and I did leave him home and go to one for about 2 hours but I just didn't have the energy to arrange Richard-sitting for the evening event.

We've belonged to our church for over 30 years and we've been an active participating couple. We've given our time, talent, presence, money--that's what the Methodist Church asks of its members. I've tried to be of assistance where and when I was needed. But our minister never calls to see how we're doing or even asks when we're at church. The previous minister didn't either. I recall calling him when we first got the diagnosis and he suggested I call my mother and that was the last I heard from him. My best friend told me it was wrong to "expect" help from the church. This disease is destroying my faith. People say they pray for us all the time but I can't feel any positive effect. I really want to believe that God loves us but it feels more like He doesn't know we exist. Oh yeah and there's the one member who told me "no more playdates" after spending an afternoon with us. I can barely be civil to that man.

And no it's not time to put him in a nursing home. He still knows all of us and he'd die if I put him there. It's hard enough getting him to the adult daycare. He pretty much can't do anything for himself anymore, dressing, bathing, he can feed himself but can't fill a plate. He doesn't seem to know what anything is. It's hard to describe. I seem to be running out of steam finally.

Please don't leave any sympathy comments. I'm not asking for pity, I just need to tell someone.... And if you have a friend who needs help then don't wait for that person to call you--you call them and say I'm coming over. Believe me, they are dying on the inside and it's just a matter of time before they're gone completely.

Found more pictures

from the top: an airplane turned into a restaurant, th chapel that is 4 chapels at the Air Force Academy, from the top of Pike's Peak you can see four (maybe 5) states--plus you can get a little sick from being so high up in the air, something very funny??, the Arkansas River at the bottom of the Royal Gorge, a cabin from the gold-mining days--obviously very old, just trying to catch up. 3 posts in 2 days is a lot for me!

A few pictures

Carter's first horsebacki ride Bryan (son) Rich and Teresa (favorite daughter-in-law)

Advent calendar scarf. Same scarf in all 3 pictures in spite of how the color looks.

My TV interview that you might have seen

Okay so here's the scoop.
I've been quite annoyed since OKC sold my parking garage to Devon. They're going to use it for their employees only! la-di-da. It was a City owned garage, my taxes paid to build it (I wasn't the only one--other taxes were used too;) --and then they sold it and didn't even ask me if it was okay. Now this may sound silly but, about 700 people who work or live downtown (not counting the homeless) don't have anywhere to park now and it's making me really cross. The mayor talks all the time about how they're trying to make OKC Downtown a happening place.....but don't we need adequate parking for that to happen? People who were going to the County Courthouse for various reasons, people going to the library, or even people going to the Thunder Store,not to mention all the lawyers offices down there have to share about 15 meters and lord help you if your meter runs out cause the meter-persons love to write tickets. I had worn my Lady Eleanor to work that day and it was the only warmth I had so I wore it at the interview which was outside. My daughter-in-law said my questions were good but my shawl was great! And I feel better now that someone actually listened to what I was thinking. Do you s'pose I'll be discovered now and become a big tv commentator?? toodles Anita

Rules of the Universe-the Sequel

1. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
2. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
3. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
4. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
5. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed.
6. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
7. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness' (except for knitters-I added this part)
8. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
9. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
10. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

I tried to download/upload-whatever it is we do to them-some recent photos and they wouldn't co-operate. It's a mystery to me--I'll try again later.

10 days from today I will celebrate--celebrate might be too strong of a word--let's say I'll observe my 60th. birthday. I really can't figure out how I got this old. I'm only in my mid-thrities at least until I look in the mirror and then I see my mother which isn't a bad thing but it is rather startling. I gotta wonder what the future holds and if I'll outlive the "disease". I've always believed in karma and I tell you sometimes I wonder what I was like in previous lives.

I will finish the Advent Scarf hopefully tomorrow. I'm really tired of this project. Maybe I can get some photos and get them loaded to show you. I've always closely identified with Oscar the Grouch and some days I just want to throw up my hands and say wtf.

and on that cheerful note I'll close.......toodles Anita

Rules of the Universe Part 1

My dear friend Joni (also my personal shopper but that's a different story) sent these to me and I'm going to share them with you in a series because they are funny, yet true! Here's the first 10.

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
4. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
5. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
6. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
7. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
8. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
9. It ain't the jeans that makes your butt look fat.
10. The decrease in one’s metabolism is in direct proportion to the increase in one’s appetite. (I added this one from experience)

Tuesday my friend Rebecca, who is a wonderful gift in my life, picked Rich up at day care and took him to supper so I could have a relaxing evening knitting with my friends. After I broke my leg Rebecca and Kerri-her daughter-came over and cleaned my house, changed my sheets, did my laundry, and brought meals several times. She drove us around and helped collect wheel chairs and such things and was just so much help. I can never tell her how much I appreciate her.

Have any of you tried the new cupcake bakeries? Oh my gosh, they are so good and expensive but worth it.

OTN I'm about to finish the Advent scarf. I'm really going to try and get some pictures posted this weekend, I'm way behind.

Well that's it for tonight. I finally was drug kicking and screaning to Facebook like I need another computer place to read. Thanks for dropping by....toodles......Anita

Scenic Site Saturation

Yep that’s what I said—I reached the Scenic Site Saturation Point and I knew if I looked at one more beautiful site in Colorado that my eyes would explode. But it’s kind of hard to not see the beauty in Colorado.

We took a vacation last week to Colorado Springs and visited all the places you are supposed to visit there: Royal Gorge, Garden of the Gods, Manitou Springs Cliff dwellings, Cripple Creek (yuck), the Victor Narrow Gauge Railroad, Pikes’ Peak-where-I-ate-a-donut-and-thought-I-was-going-to-faint-not-from-the-donut-but-from-the-thin-air. Hard to breathe up there. I was rushing to the restroom thinking I’d better go cause if I faint I might wet my pants and that would never do. I didn't--faint or wet my pants. We also had supper and a music show at the Flying W Ranch, and another supper at this restaurant that is partly made from an airplane. Pretty cool. There are gift shops everywhere and I am a grandmother…do I need to elaborate? I didn’t think so.

I only took one project, my Advent Scarf, to work on and that was a mistake. Some of those lace patterns are just to complicated to work on in a crowd. So I knitted and tinked knitted and tinked knitted and tinked then finally gave up. Got it going again after we got home. So 13 hours of knitting wasted, but it kept me out of trouble.

I’ve had something of an epiphany but I’m not ready to talk about it yet.

PTSD??

It’s been a less-than-exciting 2-3 weeks. Every day is a brand new experience. As I've mentioned, one can have no expectations.

Almost 3 weeks ago now I put Richard in adult day care for his own safety. He’s had a heat stroke two years in a row and I’m just not in the mood to go through that again. I told him this was his job and he sort of accepted that. The first evening he told me he didn’t want to go back and I told him we’d talk about it and he went out the back door for a “walk” When he wasn’t home by 9:30 and it was also dark-thirty I got anxious and called 911 and 4 police cars, the police helicopter, some friends, and our daughters were all driving around looking for him. Finally at 10:34 he walked around the corner and strolled on home wondering what all the fuss was about. Of course he couldn’t tell us where he’d been and no one could believe that he hadn’t been spotted by somebody! The police ask me if I was going to make him go back to the center and I said you betcha I am. I felt like I had no choice. Course I did but the choice was leaving him home alone no fluids, not eating and getting sick and I couldn’t do that.

As you can imagine, the rest of that week and the next were pretty terrible but at least he didn’t walk off again. He’s now beginning to enjoy it just a little bit and it’s doing some good for him. He’s communicating better and talking a little bit better and he seems to be calming down some. He gets very agitated—part of the disease. He told me there were 3 women that wanted him.
My blood pressure has gone down since I’m not worried about him all day. His blood pressure is perfect but he has no stress.

That evening I was very stressed and Kacie said call your mother so I did and of course the minute she said hello I burst into tears. Partly from worry and partly from sheer frustration, I felt like I’d been trampled by a herd of buffalo. Anyhow, Carter, my 28 month grandson, heard me crying and was alarmed. He brought me a ball of yarn and said “ball” when he gave it to me, went over and scooped up my current project (which he’d pulled the needles out of earlier) and brought it over and carefully set it in my lap, then went back and brought my pattern to me. Oh and I got a hug and kiss too. I thought that was pretty perceptive for a 2-year-old to recognize that my knitting makes me feel good.

So it’s been a difficult 2-3 weeks but he’s doing much better and seems rather resigned. He really needs to be a bit worse to be content, as it is he kind of knows he really doesn’t belong there but…..there is no alternative.

OTN: Stranded socks, Advent Calendar Scarf

Tick-tock, tick-tock

Isn't it amazing how fast time flies? Even if you're not having fun?? You break your leg; you spend a month in a cast, a month in a boot (that is ugly and cost $458 I might add. I don't spend that kind of money on pretty shoes and I get two of them--that match!) And two months in an air splint and suddenly it's June! What happened to February, March April and May? And then you find out you have to have cataract surgery. For heavens sake, this getting old business is for the birds! I never signed up for this--I don't want to pay dues to join this club!! It's in the Rules--no dues to join the getting older club. and I think I've had enough character-building experiences in my life to last me over the next few years!! Ah well... it seems life is what happenes when you've made other plans--I don't remember who said that, besides me, but I'm sure someone did.

Today I started Richard in Adult Day Care. He just came in and told me he didn't want to do this anymore. I told him it was a job. When I picked him up he looked like a storm cloud--let me re phrase that-- a tornadic storm cloud. He told me they worked him to death! but he was laughing and seemed cheerful. I told him I was so proud of him, getting a job and all. (lies to people with dementia don't count as lies, it's in the Rules) So we will see how tomorrow goes. I told him he had to go for a couple of days and try it out. Cross your fingers for me. He just isn't safe on his own anymore, doesn't eat, drink water, wear a hat, he wanders long distances, and he leaves the house wide open. He's had a heat stroke the previous 2 years and I'm just not in the mood to have one this year. Oops...I'm beginning to feel a bit grumpy!

OTN is the Advent Scarf-I'm on Day 8-- and a Crusoe sock, just one so far. I really want to learn to do two socks at once on two needles or two on one needle-magic loop style. I just can't seem to learn anything new at the moment. Overload I guess. Sock Summit looked really interesting but I seem to have missed all the drama and I guess without any classes there's not much point in going. One of these days I hope.

We are taking a tour in July. Going to Colorado Springs and see all the sights. Should be fun. I really enjoy the tours although we're usually in the youngest 4-6 of the group. It's really the only way we can travel at the moment. I can't do all the planning, driving and care-giving for Rich and take a trip unless I want to die. stress-related you know. At least driving in front of the train only crosses my mind about once a week now.

I'm doing a pretty fun thing this week. I'm teaching music teachers who are working on their Master's degrees how to play autoharp, spoons, limberjack, juice harp, and yodel. I do this for OU about every three years but I did it last year and now again this year. It is so much fun, but I'll tell you a secret--music teachers are a pretty rowdy group. I guess because they have to be really creative and creativity needs to express itself. (sounds good anyhow)

Kacie and Carter moved out. mostly. As soon as they're all gone--furniture etc. I'm going to do some re-arranging. I'm really anxious to get my yarn room back. And a guest room. I do miss them--that baby is a hoot and so cute--but let's face it--he's two years old and we all know what two-year-olds are like! I've already done that three times I think it's his mom's turn to have that pleasure. aaahhh the pitter patter of little feet! toodles....Anita

Nothing to talk about?

I want to write something but I can’t think of anything to talk about.

OTN is the Advent Scarf, I’m up through Day 5 and am really enjoying it. I want to knit another shawl but can’t chose a pattern; trying to decide about a summer shell and a cardigan, and there is always the decision of what to have for supper. And so it seems goes life---one decision after another—got to be making some major ones soon.

Richard is about the same. I’m trying to convince myself he should go to Adult Day Care but it’s a very hard thing to do. I feel like I’m locking him away, but at least he wouldn’t be so bored-they have activities all the time. I’ve started some grief-counseling and that’s helping. Depression is a scary thing and it creeps up on one.

Guess I’ll go see Mom this weekend being it’s Mothers Day and all. Haven’t been since Christmas and that’s terrible but I was pretty out of commission for quite some time with the broken leg and still am a bit. It’s healing very slowly, I guess stress probably contributes to that. We won’t mention my age-which the doctor mentions every time…..

Kacie and Carter are moving out and that makes me really sad in some ways and okay in others. I’ll get some closet space back and “my” room with my yarn, patterns, music instruments, bookcase, desk, and chair. I need to change the carpet in there, I’m thinking of purple! Did I hear you say Purple! snort!? What’s wrong with purple?

Carter is being his adorable (although 2-year-old) self. Cute and funny and all boy. He discovered jumping in puddles this week. He just likes jumping of any sort. He got quite cross with me Tuesday night when I wouldn’t take him outside because it was raining and dark. It’s hard to make a 2 year old understand that grandparents are not especially fond of standing/playing in the rain. I never was come to think of it. If it’s raining, I want to curl up with a good book or someone to cuddle with. And that’s the way it is.

Speaking of books, right now I’m reading “Wormwood” by Susan Wittig Albert. #17 in her China Bayles series. She came through here and did some library programs when “Nightshade” was published a couple years ago and she’s really nice and she knits!! Before that I read “Just Take My Heart” by Mary Higgins Clark. She is such a good author, but I don’t know if she knits or not. I’m listening to the Tony Hillerman books on CD in the car and James Patterson Women’s Murder Club also on CD. I doubt that either of them knitted or knit. I also have “Cream Puff Murder” by Joanna Fluke (total fluff but fun and has recipes) and “Look Again” by Lisa Scottoline at home to read. I really need to get busy with my reading. They’re already overdue! Did you know that Kathleen Taylor, a knitting designer and blogger, is also a mystery writer. She wrote the Tori Bauer series several years ago and I loved them, and hope she writes some more one of these days. She said she did too. Her blog is http://kathleen-dakotadreams.blogspot.com/ I suggest you read them. They are in paperback.

Pictures soon I hope. Toodles Anita

10 on Tuesday

Today's 10 on Tuesday is : 10 Signs That You're Getting Older:

1. Why in the heck does it matter if I recognize "signs" of age!!! You are only as old as you think you are (at least until you look in the mirrow!)
2-10. see #1

We Knew This Already!

It seems the Mayo Clinic has just released a new study saying knitting and crocheting are good for us. That they reduce stress, blood pressure, help manage pain and depression and reduce memory loss in older adults. Finally, justification (as if we needed it) for toting around all the bags full of knitting projects! It’s nice to be confirmed though. Here are the web addresses one from CBS and the other (same video) from the Yarn Market Newsletter. I hope its okay to list them here-no copy write issues involved.

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4917058n

http://www.yarnmarket.blogspot.com/

10 on Tuesday

You say it’s Wednesday? It’s an un-imaginative person who can’t adjust the day a little bit if necessary.

10 Things on My To-Do List
1. Look into daycare for Richard--he's wandering too far
2. Finish vest of Blue Sky Organic Cotton
3. Bake almond croissants
4. Cook brisket
5. Plan menu for Easter
6. Vacuum the floor
7. Find someone to clean the house occasionally (why not? We pay someone to mow the yard.)
8. Get a picture of Carter in spite of his avoidance
9. Read and score the Aging grant
10. Read the “Red Leather Diary” and/or “The Lace Reader” and prepare a book review for presentation.

Relaxed and calm....

I had a really wonderful relaxing weekend. Some shopping, some knitting, some hotel time (kids were staying at the house and I needed to get away), some time with close friends, and had I known the hotel had a swimming pool and a hot tub I would have stuck in a bathing suit. I figured they probably frowned on skinny dipping. Not that I would have done that but....which brings me to the realization that I'm going to be over 59 in a few months and there's a whole list of things I haven't done yet. Probably most of them aren't good for me but shucky-darn you never know. Oh well perhaps a subject for another post. Back to my week-end--it could not have been better. And Richard had a great time at Bryan's so we were both in a contented stupor Sunday afternoon!

I've got to take some pictures of FO's, I've finished a couple things lately, the scarf and the Heartbeat Sweater.

Just two more weeks in the boot then I hope I'm well. I decided a few days ago I was tired of having a broken leg and it was time for it to heal. So I put down the crutches and started walking on it-in the boot of course. It gets tired and I rest and I've become good at asking total strangers to hold my hand and help me down steps! Actually I've always talked to strangers. One can develop lasting friendships while standing in long lines--post office, UPS, voting, entry competition place at State Fair, etc.

I got home from work about 5:00pm and Rich wasn't here. By 6:30 I was worried and had called a couple people looking for him and I decided to get in the car and go look for him. He likes to walk and he's not getting lost (yet) but he's going farther and farther away. Last week he walked the 5 miles from our house to my office downtown. I'd just put the key in the ignition when a van honking loudly pulled up in front of the house and the driver yelled "I've got something that belongs to you" and he got out. I'm looking at some adult day care places to put him. They are expensive and it's scary and I also feel like I'm taking away his freedom and reducing his quality of life, but who knows? he might love it there?! It's going to reduce the quality of my life too now that I think about it. Have you ever wondered why you were born? In the Bible it says that we were "knit" in our mother's womb for a specific purpose and you just gotta think "hmmmm?". toodles

You're free Chees-y Bread!!

Remember the Domino Pizza ad for cheese-y bread with the little girl trying to set it free out in the yard? No? Oh...well, never mind then.

The lovely and stylish purple cast came off my leg a couple weeks ago to be replaced with a really ugly and heavy boot (at least that's what they call it). The first couple days I kicked myself several times on the side of my right foot until I learned to walk with my feet apart. Probably looks pretty strange from the back but it is what it is. And then I somehow plopped my crutch on my right "little piggy that had none" and I smashed it darn good. As I"m groaning in pain my daughter says, "Well Mom!! Why did you do that?" like I did it on purpose! Anyhow two more weeks of this and back to the doctor for a verdict of whether or not I'm totally healed.

I finally finished the brown Silk Garden scarf and it's pretty but that was a weird experience. I had to go buy a 3rd. ball of yarn because the two I had were so very different that they looked like different colorways. It turned out pretty but I've decided that one needs to be careful with Silk Garden. When making a Lady Eleanor it doesn't really matter if they are different or not cause Ms Ellie is such a riot of color and I love that.

Also I'm almost done with the Heartbeat Sweater by Just One More Row. It's a really cute pattern but I just haven't enjoyed knitting it. Too much guessing for me, I like definite instructions. But I know I'm going to like it when finished just prolly won't ever make another. I've got a long list of projects and just keep buying yarn. Oh well keeps me off the train tracks (that's a story for another time) and I just want to start and finish a bunch of things NOW!! So many projects, so little time.

I'm kind of giddy today. I'm getting a break from care-giving this weekend and I am so looking forward to my time. He's getting worse and I'm getting worried about safety. It is so difficult to basically lock a person up when they want to be free even if for their own well-being. Guess I'll be crossing that bridge in the next few weeks.

Okay so that's really about all I have to talk about. Toodles...Anita

TOP TEN TIPS FOR BREAKING A LEG

It occurs to me that I could offer a valuable community service to anyone who is planning on breaking their leg by offering some plan-ahead tips. So here goes:

10. Go grocery shopping ahead of time. It’s really difficult to get to the store, use the little motorized carts, (no chance of whiplash though they go way too slow), get purchased groceries into your car, and even harder, into your house and put away. Oh yeah, buy lots of stuff—you’re going to need it.

9. Learn to walk on crutches in advance. These jobbies are challenging (see previous post about falling off of them and smashing nose). Today I am celebrating (but cautiously-no dancing around) eight full days of not falling off the crutches! Yippee!

8. Also, some wheelchair training is a good idea.

7. Eliminate all unnecessary items (like rugs, tables, toddler toys, etc.) from the floor of your house in order to navigate more safely through it. Course it looks pretty plain but hey! you’ll thank me later.

6. If someone says “I want to bring you dinner”. You thank them nicely and say you’d love that. Send them a thank you card (I’m a bit behind on those)

5. If someone says “I’ll come clean your house” see answer for #6

4. Stock up on books to read, yarn for knitting, DVD’s of favorite movies, and other sedentary activity items.

3. Have the plumber install one of those shower heads that has a hose as part of it so you can sit on a bench in the tub to shower. One never realizes how wonderful showers are until one can’t take any.

2. If possible be prepared (I wasn’t a cub scout/girl scout leader for nothing—as a matter of fact I was “cookie chairman” one year but I digress). Purchase a bench for sitting in the shower, a “grabber” for reaching things from your chair with the elevated broken leg, (these can also be used for pinching should the need arise), stock up on masking tape and plastic bags for wrapping cast in while showering so it won’t get wet. One almost needs to have a nap after one is finally prepared to get into the shower. It’s exhausting just getting ready.

1. And last but not least: Shave your legs before you break your leg. It doesn’t matter if it’s February and you stopped shaving around Halloween or Thanksgiving for the winter, it’s quite embarrassing to have nurses, doctors, x-ray techs, (daughter-in-law who probably went home and told my son do you know that your mother doesn’t shave her legs in the winter –eeewww—she’s a nurse too), and other assorted people looking at your unshaven leg and thinking who-knows-what about you! Cause once it’s in that cast—well I rest my case….

SO! Here you go…my suggestions for if you are planning to break your leg! Toodles……Anita

movin' On

It's time to get past that venting post. It's two weeks into the "cast episode" of life and I'm learning to adjust. The leg doesn't hurt quite as much as it did and Tylenol takes care of that. I gave up hard drugs after the 3rd. fall off the crutches! BTW it's been 5 whole days since I last fell so I think I finally passed that learning curve.

Today is Friends of the Library Booksale and I really wanted to go but didn't get there. Next year. They always have so many knitting books that it really hurts to miss it! I just can't manage to get the wheelchair and me in and out of the car without potential disaster. This sure has slowed me down. I guess I needed to rest or something.

The trip to St. Louis was really fun. I didn't get as much yarn as I wanted to but did get some really good stuff. A hank of cashmere and silk in a pale pink that I love. It has 400 yeards and I figured I could make something with that but I think I'll try to get a second skein of it. It is sooo soft. I guess the price ($34) scared me off. That is my favorite from the trip. Several balls of Elsabeth Lavold Hempathy for Argosy scarves. I tried not to buy for the sake of buying and have so many scarves planned that I erred on the side of cautious I guess.

OTN I finally picked up the Heartbeat sweater again. I think it's going to work okay this time but I really don't like the pattern. It leaves too much to by guess/by gosh for me. I like finite measurements! I've been making soapsacks in the hopes of creating the perfect pattern. Rich has trouble with the soap and the washcloth together in the shower so I thought this might simplify things. I used it and like it so we'll see. The Silk Garden color 47 scarf has fallen out of favor so it's resting until it can learn to behave (I learned about time-out for projects from Karen M. on the trip) The two balls, same color same dye lot but so different that I can't decide if I can live with it or not. It's a gift and I'm not sure I want to give away something that I don't like.

Speaking of...two years ago on the yarn jaunt to Fort Worth I got the pattern for the Round Trip Shrug in Knitter's Magazine and also in a Best of IRX Book. I thought it was so cute and made it and didn't like how it fit at all. Last weekend while my (very good) friend Rebecca was cleaning my house for me while incapacitated she ask me what to do with it. (she found it probably on the floor beside my bed) I said oh that thing...and she said she liked it. I made her try it on and it looked really cute on her so I told her to take it home-it was hers now! And that made us both happy!

It's been a quiet day. Our friend came by and took Rich out for a while which was good for him. I think he's ready for me to go back to work! I'm very grateful for the help and love.

Well, guess that's it for now. Kacie is taking me to the Mall tomorrow and I'm so excited I can hardly wait. Weird, I'm not really that much of a go-to-the-mall person but the whole idea of an outing is so exciting!! Toodles.....Anita

Mad and Venting

I so totally hate this!! Take it from me, don't ever break your leg. I obviously have no sense of balance or I wouldn't have fallen and broken the damn thing in the first place, but to add insult to injury I still can't walk on the %&#@* crutches. I keep putting weight on the broken part and I'm not supposed to when I lose my balance. I've got a "knee walker" but it's too tall for me even though it's on the lowest setting, I seem to have really short legs, and it's already bruised my knee and it's too heavy for me to lift in/out of the car then get myself in/out of the car too.

And poor Richard can't help at all with the Alzheimer's. But he keeps trying. And I keep crying and whining and wondering what kind of awful person was I in a previous life? And it hurts too. I got in the shower today but that's a story I'm not going to share. (you're welcome) Pretty scary. Okay, I'm calming down now. I just needed that weekend get-a-way so much and then I go and get really hurt and complicate life even more. I feel like such an idiot.

It's Winter, not FALL!

but you couldn't prove it by me!

First, it "iced" on OKC about 3 weeks ago and I had the (dubious) honor of being the first employee to slip on the ice outside the building and fall. Two more staff and 4 customers fell after I did and before they got the salt down but still... I landed hard on my tailbone and it still hurts.

Last weekend I was invited to go on a trip to St. Louis to eat, visit yarn shops, Trader Joe's, World Market and other places we could think of to go. There were 6 of us. We left Thursday morning and took a lovely meandering route to get there. Then Friday, we visited our first stop, The Loopy Ewe, a wonderful shop and really fun place to be, then headed to an Italian Deli to meet some of Emily's friends for lunch. Well, I got a phone call (that I was afraid was about Richard for whom I had to make quite complicated plans to get him taken care of) and headed out the door. The steps were round and uneven in height, the sun was in my eyes, I was worried but probably-truth be it known-I wasn't paying close attention and I fell. I felt my ankle twist and I landed on my left side. Marjie saw me go down and she was out the door at my side almost before I quit bouncing. Terri (I think) was right behind her. They tried to help me up but my left foot wouldn't cooperate, it just sort of hung there. They finally got me in a chair and back inside with my leg resting on another chair and a bag of ice on it. They ask did I want to go to the ER but I wanted to have lunch. I had a fabulous pulled pork sandwich with a brocolli salad that I remember was really good but not much else about it and a canoli (yum!) THEN I was ready to go to the ER.

I was transported by Teresa who also stayed with me until the group came to get me and was told I had broken my fibula. They put a plaster splint on it with an ace bandage wrap and told me to stay off of it like in a wheelchair.

We visited the Walgreen's, got my perscription filled and some crutches for me to use. (I should have re-thought that decision) picked up supper went back to the hotel and had a picnic in the lobby. Used the hotel wheelchair to get me upstairs, but it wouldn't fit through the door. So Emily called her friends and borrowed one.

I woke in the night hurting and took a pain pill about 4:00 and when I next woke up about 6:30 to visit the facilities I decided to try the crutches (on which I practiced the night before and was doing acceptable well) which was another mistake. I instantly went down backwards onto the still hurting tailbone. I sort of remember getting up and getting the crutches again and promptly fell over sideways smashing my face in the carpet and causing a run-a-way nosebleed. Poor Emily was in shock. She got kleenex for me, said No More Crutches for you, put me in the wheelchair and wheeled me to the bathroom. (She also informed me that I wasn't very good at accepting help was I) Then, God love her, she cleaned up the blood from the carpet. (I'm sure it was the pain pills that made me so clumsy--never mind any of my other posts about falling)

Getting me in an out of the van on the way home was an adventure with people on either side of me and behind me (my reputation preceded me I guess) to prevent falling also shouting words of encouragment not to put weight on my broken leg and other stuff. This group of women were wonderful! They could easily have decided I ruined the trip but they were more kind and helpful than I deserved. A thousand thank you's to Marjie, Emily,Terri, Kay and Karen. I had a really wonderful time in spite of the break.

So Monday morning bright and not-so-early I went to the orthopedist that my daughter-in-law (the nurse) works for -- that's handy don't you think?-- and they affirmed the diagnosis of the ER. And now I'm in a cast from toes to knee. I'm currently waiting on the arrival of a scooter thingee to rest the broken leg on and propel with the good leg. Right now I hurt all over, leg, tailbone, hands and arms from the crutches, nose for obvious reasons, and I'm PO'ed!! I don't need this, I've had enough character-building experiences the last few years to last a lifetime. And I really thought I was going to make it all the way through my life without ever breaking anything-ha! So much for thinking. I had a kind of meltdown earlier but I'm feeling better now. Nothing like a good cry to wipe away the cobwebs or something like that. I'm sure there's an old saying that fits somewhere. Now for a picture. So the good news is it gave me something to blog about!

Below is a short row scarf of Silk Garden Sock Yarn and a Firebird Faroese style shawl by SimpleKnits pattern on Ravelry. Shawl is from Fiesta Boomerang, Alaska colorway. All yarns purchased at Gourmet Yarn Co. in OKC.

More new beginnings

I watched the Inauguration of our new president this morning and I was very moved. I believe Barack Obama will be a good president. He has a very ambitious agenda and high standards for himself and he won't be able to solve all the problems he hopes to but I think he'll get us moving forward again and restore some hope to people who are losing their jobs right and left and who don't have medical insurance. Aretha Franklin's version of “My Country T'is of Thee was wonderful. Course who doesn't like Aretha Franklin?? For a long time, I've felt such a sense of sorrow and shame for what we as a country did to the slaves and Indian Tribes and now I feel a little bit lighter somehow.
My granddaughter's 17th. birthday was last Friday and my grandson's 2nd. birthday is this Thursday. I wish either or both of their parents had had these kids a little further away from Christmas and not in the same month, let alone the same week! It does make for challenges. Actually, he was due on her birthday so it's good they are at least a week apart. But anyhow, it was a chaotic weekend but fun! I've tried to teach Kaila how to knit 2-3 times, and she's tried but really isn't interested. Darn when I'm dead she'll wish she'd learned!! Or perhaps not.

OTN: I'm about to finish the Fire Bird Shawl from SimpleKnits (Vicki Mikulak) that I bought on Ravelry of Fiesta Boomerang, a simple knit1, purl1 rib scarf of Silk Garden a gift, and am ready to start a new scarf from a KnitSpot (Anne Hanson) pattern that is oh, so pretty called Tudor Grace. And I need a new pair of socks.

On the Alz. front, there is a new support group for members of early-onset victims of this disease here in town and I've been going. It's such a relief to hear other peoples stories and realize that they're the same as mine. That I'm not going crazy (at least not totally) and the strange and difficult behaviors are common to all Alz-patients. So far, we've spent a lot of time getting acquainted and comparing diagnosis horror stories and reactions of friends and relatives, but I'm ready to ask some questions about how we as caregivers feel and react during some of the incidents.

I sure don't feel very interesting today so I think I’ll give it up for now.

Toodles......Anita

Bits and Pieces

What a busy month. Well it's a new year--begin again.

Mom had open heart surgery, was in the hospital/rehab for 17 days, is home now and wants to drive! Being forced to stay at home isn't any fun I guess. Myself I just got tired of cooking 3 meals a day during my two week vacation! It was almost a relief to go back to work.

I finished Tayten's Christmas stocking (great-nephew),

Carter's Christmas stocking (grandson) a short row scarf of Silk Garden Sock (gift for a friend),

and a vest of Baby Alpaca Grande (me) (picture coming soon) which will probably be too hot for me to ever wear considering I have terminal "hot". Not flashes (or power surges) just hot. All the time....this is such a special time of life….

I give a Christmas BookTalk in December several times so I spent most of the month reading Christmas novellas which is usually entertaining.

We saw 2 movies this season:“Four Christmases--very funny and “Marley--also very entertaining.

'nuff for now....later....thanks for dropping by....Anita